First World Problems

_{Nu:BC Collective in 2014: Corey Hamm, Paolo Bortolussi, and Eric Wilson}

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS (2014)

"My face hurts from smiling too much.

I slept in too late on my day off. Now I have less time to do nothing.

I hate my job, but I make too much money to justify finding a new one.

I’m not going to work harder ‘cause I’ll end up in a higher tax bracket and make less.

I wish my family wasn't so rich, then maybe I could have a poor person’s work ethic.

I hate my government but I live too comfortably to get motivated enough to do anything

about it.

My WiFi just went down for 1 hour.

I live in a generic condo in the suburbs, surrounded by parking lots and chain stores. Some-

times I feel my soul dying.

My cruise ship broke down. Now we'll be stuck on vacation indefinitely.

It was like, truly spiritual living among those mountain tribes for three days. But the food

they cooked for us was disgusting. Can’t believe there is no American-style Chinese food

anywhere in China. Sweet-and-sour, and nó shower, and all I wanted to do was check Face-

book but no power! I’ve so had it with the third world!

Relaxing is exhausting.

My Poodle can’t get a haircut today because of the humidity outside…ugh, so annoyed with

stupid global warming!

I want to get a meaningful tattoo but I have lived a comfortable, sheltered life.

My husband can't sleep naked in our new sheets because the thread count is so high they

give him an erection.

My libido is up, but my WiFi is down.

Yikes.

I don’t think there’s a kid in Africa hungrier then what I am now.

I’m hungry… but not for any of the food in my house.

I have too much chips for my dip, but if I open more dip, I’ll have too much dip for my chips.

My fat pants are now just pants.

Why did I - eat that pie?

Glorify - chicken thigh,

Gonna die! Unless I, - detoxify.

Disqualify, deny, goodbye to happy meals

Diets make me cry,

Oh my! No WiFi."

Text compiled from a variety of social media sources by Edward Top